To Paci...Or Not To Paci

It is no secret to those close to me that I have issues with the paci.  My issue you ask?  I really don't want to ever have to take Reagan's paci away.  As I've mentioned before, I actually remember the trauma of giving mine up - to Santa Claus no less (and I almost opted out of presents that year just so I could keep it!).  I remember arguing with my sister when she took the paci away from my oldest nephew and I stated - no baby should ever have to give up their paci.  I've joked with my friends that Reagan could keep her paci until college if she wanted and part of me actually meant it.

But, her teeth are now showing evidence of being on the paci too long.  I *thought* that it wouldn't become a teeth issue if she only had it at nap and night time.  Apparently I am wrong about that.  So, here I am breaking my own heart over a paci.  LOL  I say my own heart because I am well aware of my issues and fully realize that I am probably more attached to her paci than she is. 

This past Saturday I decided to try to get over it and take the paci away.  The first thing Reagan says when put into her crib is Paci, Paci, Paci.  I handed her a cut nipple paci for naptime.  She put it in her mouth, got a WTF look on her face, took it out and stared at it and then put it back in her mouth.  She settled down to a couple minutes of pitiful crying because her paci was broken but she didn't cry long.  It was AWFUL for me!  That night was a repeat but without the pitiful crying because she discovered that if she put her finger in the paci that it worked (she has the Binky brand so her finger can fit all the way in the nipple from the outside).  On Sunday, I tried again at naptime but she wasn't having it.  She kept climbing out of her crib and banging on the door yelling PACI!  After a few times of this, I gave in, gave her a normal paci and off to sleep she went.  That night, I didn't even try.

Today I bought a crib tent - she won't stay in her crib and I am not comfortable with the thought of her creeping around the house alone at night so instead of doing the toddler bed thing I opted for the tent.  She thinks this tent is very funny so at least that isn't traumatizing to her.  I told myself tonight that I'll let her adjust to the tent before trying the no paci thing again but I see myself making excuses for myself instead of facing the reality that her paci needs to go.

My name is Dawn and I am a Paci-holic.  I need help!  LOL

She is actually laughing in this picture because she was bouncing her head against the tight mesh for it to bounce back.  All I had handy was my cell phone for a picture.