Born From My Heart

It just flat out does.  No matter if or how you become a mommy, you always feel the weight of being "broken".  A web board friend who I watched go through many a heartwrenching cycle and various treatments is about to deliver her first baby (YAYYYYYYYY!).  I follow her blog for updates and was very touched by one of her many posts on infertility.  She says it perfectly - the shadow of IF.  It sucks!  Thanks Lucy for writing this awesome post !  And I can't wait to see pictures of Little E after his safe arrival!  Congrats!!!!

ME:  So today is CD 1, yesterday was CD 189 or something crazy like that, to be honest I had simply stopped counting.  This is however the first CD 1 of 2010 for me.  For those that don't know about PCOS and keeping detailed track of your menstrual cycle, CD stands for Cycle Day and for "regular" women on a 28 day cycle, they rarely go over CD 28 without running for a pregnancy test.  For those of us who are irregular due to PCOS , going past CD 28 is normal.  CD 1 is the first day that "Aunt Flo" arrives.  For most women most of the time this is nothing discussion worthy.  For a PCOS woman who is not on cycle regulating medications, CD 1 is an odd joy - for me it serves as a reminder that my body does know what it is supposed to do occasionally, it is validating of my femininity (which is something that PCOS robs most women of) and yes, it is also a pain.  Heck, even the PMS is exciting! (I know, sad)...