How She Got Her Name

The first part of this post will be sad but the sad part is necessary to get to how she got her name. I have two older sisters – the oldest has 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls, and the middle has 2 children, 1 boy and 1 girl. I was beyond happy and excited as each of my nieces and nephews entered this world and I am close to all of them. I bestowed on each of them my own special nickname and frequently call them by those nicknames – in public.And the kids don’t mind! In order of birth they are, Beaner, Super Chunk, Peanut, Minnie-Me, Kaboom and Goat-Butt. With a tiny bit of training (LOL), if you ever ask any of them who their favorite person in the world is, they will tell you Aunt Dawn. That may not actually be the truth, but they’ve been coached well. They are all growing up now and making their way towards adulthood but the special and close relationship I have to all of them has only grown deeper with each new year. In April 2008, the worst possible thing to ever happen to our family happened. My oldest niece, Emily, my sweet Peanut, died in a car accident. She was 15. I have never felt such pain and heartbreak as I do over the loss of that sweet girl. Not even the pain of infertility came close. I remember begging God to let her come back to us even if that meant I could never be a mother in return. We all miss her terribly every single day.

When it became known in July of 2008 that Reagan’s birth parents had chosen us, the gender of the baby to be was not yet known. I had always pictured having a little boy although my preference was either gender. Names of course had already been mulled over countless times in hopes that a child would become ours so the name I thought I would definitely be using for a girl was Kassidy. I loved it and no other name seemed to be better out of the 1000s in the baby name books. We had some other girl names on our short list but I felt certain that Kassidy would be the one chosen. Everyone was having fun guessing what the gender might be and most people were saying boy.

As I was driving down the highway alone late one night, I got this overwhelming peaceful feeling about baby to be. In my head I heard – The baby is a girl and her name is Reagan Emily. At the time, in the moment, I just knew it was right. I also knew that my beautiful niece had been orchestrating from heaven and had not only helped to guide my child to me but had also chosen for her the perfect name.

When I began to announce to the world that I knew the baby was a girl and that her name was Reagan Emily, others were perplexed a bit since Reagan wasn’t a name on the short list and hadn’t ever even been mentioned before. To those close to me, those who knew about Emily, I simply said – Emily named her and Emily knows it is a girl.

A while later, at the anatomy scan which occurred late in the pregnancy, I realized I was holding my breath when the gender was being checked. Of course it showed girl and of course on the day she was born everyone could only say – oh wow, her name fits her perfectly.

So thank you my Peanut, for guiding Reagan to us and for giving her the most wonderful name. We love you and miss you every day.  Please keep watching over her.


KAM said…
I'm so sorry for the loss of your niece, but what a wonderful way to pay tribute to her.
RELH said…
What a beautiful name!
Sorry about the loss of your neice. Its very hard to lose someone that is so special to you.

I Lost my Daddy 2 yrs ago in an oil field accident over seas, off the coast of Nigeria. And it was heart breaking to our family, and so many others. Words can not ever describe what a special person he is/was. We all did however have a great peace that he was ready to go, and is now in Heaven.

My Dh and I are Both infertile and had been ttc for over 2 1/2 yrs. And My daddy knew about it of course. 1 yr later on the day he Died- I received the Phone call that Change our lives.. We were Finally Pregnant with our miracle baby via IVF/ICSI! Such a BitterSweet day, and oh so Precious to me! Can't help but think the Lord let him see us get our Wonderful News, and see the day his beautiful 1st Grandbaby was born:*)He would Love her more than words can say. I miss him very much.

Reagan Emily is Such a Beautiful Priecous little Gift:) And your right her name is Just Perfect for her. I'm sure Peanut is very happy for you both!


PS.sorry this is so long, didn't mean to right you a noval

Browniris said…
Stopping by from ICLW...that is such a sad story about your niece, but I agree it is a beatiful way to honor her. I agree with you that Emily guided you in choosing a name.
Her Momma said…
Oh wow, I'm SO sorry for your loss. I, too, am incredibly close with "my kids" as I like to call them (nephews, nieces) so this post really hit me hard. Thanks so much for sharing though.
Michelle said…
I am so sorry for the loss of your niece. I have three nieces and 3 nephews, so I can't even imagine what I would be like if anything happened to them.

What a lovely way to honor your niece.

Krissi said…
So sorry about your niece. My nephew also died in a car accident at 24 years old. It is so hard to lose someone that is so young and has their whole life ahead of them. I lost my mother during my 3rd IVF attempt but before that she told me that my Ella Rose would come. That was one of the names I picked out for a girl and Ella was my mom's true first name. I asked her how she knew I was going to have a girl and she said she just knew. A couple weeks later she died and a couple weeks after that I found out I was pregnant...and she was a girl and I named her Ella Rose. Happy ICLW!! (#72, 106)
Jacqui said…
I am so sorry about your niece! I know my niece and I are pretty close and I couldn't imagine her not being around. ((HUGS)) to you. Your daughters name is beautiful!

Hello! I am your newest follower from a Thursday blog hop! I would love it if you would follow back at one or all four of my blogs!

Thank you! Have a great TGIF!
Patience said…
What a beautiful name and tribute to your niece. Thank you for sharing this story!

heartincharge said…
Here from ICLW. First of all, what a gorgeous little girl you have!
Second, the story of her name is so beautiful and touching. I'm sorry that you lost your niece. I am also inspired by your story to reach out to my nieces and nephews. There are children in my life who I can love right now. You are a wonderful auntie!
Flucky Mom said…
I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy, especially when it's a child.

Reagan is a beautiful name for an cute little girl.

Happy ICLW!
Joyful Hope said…
Reagan is a beautiful little lady, with a lovely story behind her name. I'm so sorry for your loss.

ICLW 128
Anonymous said…
Congratulations on your beautiful daughter, and for bringing love and beauty out of tragedy. And my deepest sympathy on the loss of your niece.

Stopping by for ICLW... its great hearing such postitive adoptions stories! I love the name as well! And so sorry for the tragic loss.
kathleen said…
what a beautiful post to honor your neice and your daughter..lovely..
Stopping by from ICLW..
Anonymous said…
What a beautiful story. I'm so sorry for the loss of your neice but so inspired by this story as well!!
Susan said…
What a beautiful post. Sad but inspiring. My niece lost her youngest little girl at 15 months old to another type of accident. She was healthy and perfect. No one knows who opened that sliding glass door, and no one knew a 15 month old baby could climb those stairs down to that in ground swimming pool. But her little angel was one of the many victims that die every year falling into swimming pools.

I hope you enjoy your little one, enjoy every moment, they grow up so fast. And remember your niece will be guiding you all the way.
I love reading all the different blogs, they all have something unique and different to offer. Some are funny, some inspiring, some informative. They all seem to have something different to offer. Thank you for letting me visit.
LeeAnn said…
Well I already knew that story, but how did I not know you were considering Kassidy? That's funny. Rylie's name was almost Cassidy!
Colie's Kitchen said…
Wow what a beautiful post! Who knew at 1:30 am in Houston, Texas I would be sitting at my dining room table balling my eyes out. Thank you for sharing something so close to your heart!!!
Sara said…
I'm so sorry that you lost your Emily. It's beautiful that she has this special connection with your daughter.

Tanya said…
Here from Creme...your post is just lovely, I think its great that a new life was able to help you heal a little the loss of your niece and its beautiful that they are connected.

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